Dating and My Daughter

I recently read an article by Alex Green called “What Makes a True Gentleman”.  The article goes through the type of men that women shouldn’t marry and then defines who they should.  The idea behind the article came from his thoughts on whom his daughter should look for in a man.


This guy looks harmless, but who knows?

Of course this got me thinking about the question for my daughter.  She’s only 11, but is now in middle school.  Everything is about to get real.  She shows a shy interest in boys, but some of her friends are already turning boy crazy.  While my daughter doesn’t have a smart phone, some of her friends do and they are texting and face timing boys.  Reality is staring me in the face.  She’s no longer the baby girl and she’s beginning to grow into a responsible woman.

This is where our family values are supposed to kick in.  She knows them, gets reminded of them and sees them throughout the house. They’re her safety blanket and road map to choosing what’s right and what’s wrong.  Her litmus test for friends and boyfriends (took a minute to type boyfriends).

Over time, I expect her create her own set of values and I know if she sticks to her values when choosing, she’ll be fine.  We’ll also be able to base approval or disapproval around our values.  Instead of me having to scare a boy off with threats of shotguns and prison time, we’ll be able to ask a simple question:  “Do his actions reflect the values you want in a man?”

She’ll have to judge him on his actions and not words.  This was a great takeaway from the Alex Green article.  He quoted advice left by Dr. Randy Pausch to his daughter before he passed.

“When men are romantically interested in you, it’s really simple.  Just ignore everything they say and only pay attention to what they do.”

This piece of advice will get framed and go up in our daughter’s room.  Right next to her family values.

For the dad’s who have been through or are going through daughter dating, please leave some advice in the comment section.  We all need it.